{"id":7635,"date":"2014-10-22T22:36:57","date_gmt":"2014-10-22T22:36:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/?p=7635"},"modified":"2014-11-19T01:34:11","modified_gmt":"2014-11-19T01:34:11","slug":"seeking-support-after-molestation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/2014\/10\/22\/seeking-support-after-molestation\/","title":{"rendered":"Seeking support after molestation"},"content":{"rendered":"
“Badger, this is hard for me to share. I was molested when I was a kid. And since then I’ve found it hard to speak up. Sometimes when someone asks me to do something that feels wrong to me, I feel paralyzed and clam up. What can I do?”<\/p>\n
I’m very sorry for the pain you have experienced. It’s great that you are reaching out\u2014that is big. My first advice is to be gentle with yourself and seek out professional support. They are the ones who know how to really help get into what you’re going through deeply. You just don’t know what else in your life this may subconsciously be spilling into. Avoidance will not help at all, so it’s good you are starting to reach out. I know that not everyone has access to a professional, or for some it can be pricey. I strongly suggest saving up and finding a supportive therapist. Until then, here are a few suggestions:<\/p>\n
All of these outlets can help you to get your voice back. It may take time or it may happen sooner than you think. Most important of all is trusting yourself. When such an abuse happens, guilt can come up, you feel as if you should have said something, or you can’t trust yourself, or that you had no one to protect you, or you may feel guilty because the abuse may have felt pleasurable. You couldn’t have done anything else; this is not your fault; please be gentle with yourself and remember that. Violation is not the fault of the victim\u2014ever. You couldn’t have done anything or said anything different. You were a kid, and the abuser used this to their advantage. You can trust yourself\u2014it was them you could not trust. Friction creates pleasure and that does not mean you enjoyed the abuse\u2014it just means that friction did what it does. I wish you the very best through this process. It’s not easy, I know. You were left with pain you did not ask for; however, you have the power now to shift it all and reclaim your voice. Remember to be gentle with yourself, and if it ever seems overwhelming, reach out immediately for support to a hotline or a friend or family member. You’re worth it\u2014never forget.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a>by <\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" CAUTION: This article discusses the deeply painful experience of molestation. For those who have endured such an experience, Ask the Badger offers suggestions on how to begin talking about the abuse. The primary point is to be gentle with yourself. We can be our own toughest critic, and the subject of guilt can feel very real. It’s important to realize that when you’ve been abused, you are not guilty. You did no wrong. ~Artwork by Brian Martinez<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":9053,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"libsyn-item-id":0,"libsyn-show-id":0,"libsyn-post-error":"","libsyn-post-error_post-type":"","libsyn-post-error_post-permissions":"","libsyn-post-error_api":"","playlist-podcast-url":"","libsyn-episode-thumbnail":"","libsyn-episode-widescreen_image":"","libsyn-episode-blog_image":"","libsyn-episode-background_image":"","libsyn-post-episode-category-selection":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_thumbnail":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_theme":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_height":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_width":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_placement":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_use_download_link_text":"","libsyn-post-episode-player_custom_color":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-explicit":"","libsyn-post-episode":"","libsyn-post-episode-update-id3":"","libsyn-post-episode-release-date":"","libsyn-post-episode-simple-download":"","libsyn-release-date":"","libsyn-post-update-release-date":"","libsyn-is_draft":"","libsyn-new-media-media":"","libsyn-post-episode-subtitle":"","libsyn-new-media-image":"","libsyn-post-episode-keywords":"","libsyn-post-itunes":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-season-number":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-type":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-title":"","libsyn-post-episode-itunes-episode-author":"","libsyn-destination-releases":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-enabled":"","libsyn-post-episode-advanced-destination-form-data-input-enabled":false,"libsyn-post-episode-premium_state":"","libsyn-episode-shortcode":"","libsyn-episode-embedurl":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[402,404,403,406,405],"coauthors":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7635"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7635"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7635\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9053"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7635"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.honeybadgerbrigade.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=7635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}